Ways of Managing

(Unlike many others, I never treat my blog as a place to dump all bullshits I can find elsewhere, but a friend has sent a nice anecdote that really deserves to go in. Enjoy - Sudip)

•MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES - These managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they disappear round the corner.

•MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW - These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.

•MANAGING BY POST-IT'S - Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'-ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.

•MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY - These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If he is good, He knows what she must do.

•MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING - These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.

•MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING - These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.

•MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION - Information hiders are aware of the market value of information kept strictly secret. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of stimulants from category “Knowing nothing”!

•MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS - These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.

•MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS - In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.

•MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS - If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.

•MANAGING BY MEETINGS - These managers are always seen in the meeting rooms, planning about future, getting irrelevant bullshit lectures and ideas from trusted subordinate managers, and taking them seriously, till next meeting.