Survive from your so called Thinking

 World’s most expensive item is – you are right, it is a “Wrong decision”.

In an increasingly competitive world, it is quality of thinking that gives an edge—an idea that opens new doors, a technique that solves a problem, or an insight that simply helps make sense of it all.

You are what you think. Whatever you are doing, whatever you feel, whatever you want—all are determined by the quality of your thinking. If your thinking is unrealistic, your thinking will lead to many disappointments. If your thinking is overly pessimistic, it will deny you due recognition of the many things in which you should properly rejoice. if the quality of your life is not what you wish it to be, it is probably because it is tied to the way you think about your life. If you think about it positively, you will feel positive about it. If you think about it negatively, you will feel negative about it

For most people, most of their thinking is subconscious, that is, never explicitly put into words. The problem is that when you are not aware of your thinking you have no chance of "correcting" it. When thinking is subconscious, you are in no position to see any problems in it. And, if you don't see any problems in it, you won't be motivated to change it. When a full grown man has an average of 80000 (yes, you read it right, it’s 80 thousand) thoughts passing through their subconscious mind in a day, hardly 2/3 % of that we consciously think or can consciously control, review, weigh and moderate. The truth is that since few people realize the powerful role that thinking plays in their lives, few gain significant command of their thinking. Most people are in many ways "victims" of their own thinking, harmed rather than helped by it. Most people are their own worst enemy. Their thinking is a continual source of problems, preventing them from recognizing opportunities, keeping them from exerting energy where it will do the most good, poisoning relationships, and leading them down blind alleys.

 Improving the quality of your thinking will help you achieve your goals and ambitions, make better decisions, and understand where others are trying to influence your thinking. It will help you take charge of what you do in your professional and personal life, how you relate to others, and even what emotions you feel. It's time for you to discover the power and role of thinking in your life. You are capable of achieving more significant professional goals. You can become a better problem solver. You can use power more wisely. You can become less subject to manipulation. You can live a fuller, a more happy and secure life. The choice is yours.

When they look back, most people feel like if only they did take a few decisions differently, their lives could have been very different. Yes. Some of the world’s most expensive items are - “Wrong decisions”.

Our happiness and success depends on clear thinking. But too many of us are compromised by confusion, trying to do too much at once, and not knowing what to do next. Lack of thinking skills often lead to pain and sufferings in life that could have been easily avoided with a little application, of thinking. But thinking is a skill that provides the maximum firepower when it is consciously developed in a proper structured manner with right controls and handles on it’s force. Our arrogantly complacent attitude towards thinking is often misplaced, creating a wrong notion about our effective capability in this area. Many who consider themselves as good thinkers often use only one part of thinking, (usually analysis, judgement and identification) and leaves out the whole creative, generative and productive side of thinking.

To be really creative and innovative, we need to first take away all the barriers to free thinking. One’s mind must be completely open, liberal, flexible and dynamic to be truly exceptional. Creativity is an expression of the stream of thinking. Everybody has creativity but the chance to bloom, the expressions are not available in most cases as it is not really nurtured in the right way. But it’s always there, always waiting, always within every person, only one has to learn how to listen to the frequency and tune oneself to it.

Thinking is the most basic education required in every step of life, from personal thinking to academics to Business proposes to life situations like relationship handling or office politics, you just cannot escape it. At every step you have to think to make decisions, often critical and crucial ones, to survive, to excel, to be happy and successful. Just as we breath, we think. Intelligent people can think without having to learn to think. Then many others cannot think no matter what they do. Thinking is the most fundamental human skill. It also determines our happiness and our success in life, because we need it to make plans, take initiatives, solve problems, make decisions, open up opportunities and design our way forward. Without this ability we are like a cork floating on a stream with no control on our destiny.

 But thinking is also a skill that can be learnt, practiced and developed. It is fun and enjoyable too. Only you have to want to develop that skill. It is like learning how to ride a bicycle or drive a car. Intelligence is like the horsepower of a car, while thinking is like the skill of the car driver. Without learning to think properly, you really cannot use all the power or features of that car nor drive it properly. Many highly intelligent people are poor thinkers and get caught in the “intelligence trap”. Many less intelligent people often learn and develop a high degree of skill in thinking. Traditional education in school and college teach only one aspect of thinking, the rest are ignored – leading to a poor state of education where many highly qualified people are poor thinkers and operate at a fraction of their potential.

Now you know, Why !!

Survive from the failures failing you

 

What is success? Getting 99% in an exam, which has become a joke in any case? Couple of years ago, the first boy in the state secondary exams (10th standard) with more than 99% marks rued in front of the reporters that he is not happy about the 4 marks he lost. In a true educational system, his crown should have been taken away, for he doesn’t deserve it. One who thinks he is perfect in everything, is a real stupid. 

Many years ago, I went to meet the Principal of a very renowned school in Kolkata, floated by a person I have extreme regards about. I have never seen him but heard a lot of stories about him. Way back in the Seventies, he came back from England and took over the administration of the school founded by his father and very professionally changed the face of the school, bringing excellence in the school education for the for the first time in Kolkata, just what Pranoy Roy did in the Election reporting on TV, in the nineties. When I was chatting with the Principal, a lady teacher came up with an answer script, told it is urgent. The Principal asked to be excused and attended her. The issue was if the student can get 100 or not. They went over the full answer script with high focus, finally found one sum where the student had jumped a step, cut half marks for it and made the score 99. 100 is only for the total perfection, she explained to me. I was speechless and very very impressed.   

Success is getting in the IITs? IIMs? Civil Service? IIT exam is the most widely held toughest exam, as after the +2 level, the student community get largely divided. Is that the destination, or just another path to the destination? Then why do so many students commit suicide in the IITs?

 Few years ago, I spent an evening chatting to a very renowned Psychiatrist, Dr. Deb, who was a member of the team given a 6-month assignment to find a solution to this suicide menace, by Prof. Damodaran, the then Director of IIT-Kharagpur. Dr. Deb explained, take a boy from any particular school, good or bad, of the about 5000 schools in our state. Take that each school on average has 3 sections, making it 15000. Then 15000 students become first, in any particular exams. Usually 2/3 or max. 4 students compete for this position in any class, though in half the cases it is seen, someone has made it a habit to become first and they are purely focussed on that aspect. That makes it about 7500. These students, at least 40% of them i.e. 3000, don’t want to think about or do anything else, they can sacrifice anything else in life or any other joy, or even relationships, just to hold to this position. They are often very jealous types, selfish definitely and become sort of neurotic in the constant fear of losing their no. 1 position. Out of this 3000, nearly 98% at least will definitely give all they have for the IIT seats and the survey tells us hardly 250 (from this state) actually reaches there, beside 50-100 dark horses, which is 8%. 200 among them do not get the branch of their dreams or the IIT of their choice, being severely unhappy from the word GO. Then if one of them find himself at the 58th position in a class of 60 (mind it, nearly 90% of the students used to be the first guy in their respective class or section almost all their lives, except a few dark horses), don’t you think he is a fit candidate for suicide?

Another trouble is that, these students are usually pampered all their lives till now. They get habituated with the awe-struck glances of their family, neighbours to the teachers often, and no end to adulations. They get tuned to that kind of treatment, and know that they have the world at their feet. SO when they find themselves “not so special” in that crowd, get bullied by the smarter guys, look stupid among the crowds having fun because few other students look like God and talk like the devil and become the heartthrob of the girls, they suddenly feel that the ground under their feet have moved. Often, some of them are bullied, trolled or just develop inferiority complex (to which they are just alien actually) because they are from the village schools and are not fluent with english-speaking. Sometimes, coupled with a heartbreak by a girl, one of them may just feel like he has been running the wrong alley all his life, till now. Now, he is a perfect candidate for suicide.

This is my own experience also. I have seen some people, whose life generally goes in a straight line, not like the roller coaster rides like me and a lot more. They may be 1% of the people, but they are much more visible naturally, than the ass of the statistics suggests. Because they are usually habituated to getting things easily, any turmoil or resistance can shake them in an earth-shaking way. The people like me, who are fighters and survivors, slowly pick up a different kind of mindset and approach towards life. Even on the middle of the dog’s life, we know and expect that someday, the dogs will also have their day. We patiently and hopefully wait, while fighting the battle for survival, fully knowing that the battles lost are battles lost, not the war itself. Napoleon, who did own 57 of the 60 wars he fought had this same feeling, when he was in Alba?  “Able was I, when I saw Alba”?

Next time you take your children to enjoy the fries at KFC, tell them that Col. Sanders had to approach 1009 shops or cafes to find the first person to agree to buy his franchise. Just close your eyes, and think of the huge patience, courage, conviction, determination, passion and perseverance that were need to approach the next guy after 1008 rejections over a period of three long long years.  

Or when you take them to the Disneyland or see a Disney movie or even a Tom & Jerry show, tell them that Disney had to go to 321 bank branches with his project file, in 2.5 years or more, before a bank manager took his dream project seriously. He was completely broke and cold, but used his dreams to keep him warm, used his dreams to hold him strong.  

Neither of them committed suicide in the middle of the war, nor did I, who has had many failures in his dream projects till now. 

Jobs galore – But where are the people?

All the time we hear about unemployment running into lacs and people not getting work etc. etc. but when we have work and need people, it’s hard to find people to work, there is a huge demand supply gap. All the people seem to be only after jobs, not work.

One of my friends, who has his own firm, is looking for some guys for quite some time. He is simply pressed, overworked and desperately need people even above the few he has. He often has to refuse work/ assignments for want of people. Myself and a few other friends try to send anyone who seem suitable to him, consider it a social work for both the parties. A few days ago, I referred a guy who said he is looking for a job, have him his no. and advised to go meet my friend after an appointment. The guy called up after 3 days, asked to meet my friend, dithered on which day he will come and said OK, I will come at 6/7 in the evening. My friend said “6 or 7 ? I hate that people will wait for me and expect to get the same treatment from others”. The guy said “OK, Sir, 6.30”. My friend was waiting, even postponing a meeting with a client, on the appointed time. The guy called up at 7.50 to say sorry and that he had some trouble and could not come, can he come on the next day ? My friend was furious but said nothing and said ok. Next afternoon a client called up my friend for an urgent meeting in the evening. He called this guy and asked if he could come at any other time. The guy said Sir, I am already working somewhere and they are giving me 12K, how much you are going to give ? My friend was flabbergasted. He said “I can give you double, even triple of that. But do you deserve that ? I have to know that first. If you are interested to talk to me, pl. come tomorrow at that time”. The guy never came.

Another girl, sitting at home, giving CA final exams with article-ship over a year ago, sent me her CV thro’ an ex-student of mine who still keeps in touch. I spoke to her and thought she is quite suitable for my friend and it will be very beneficial for her. I gave her his number and asked to get in touch, alerting my friend. She could not call up in the last 8 days. Seems busy in looking for a job. She was asking me in the beginning how much she will be paid, I said I have no idea, why don’t you go for an interview?

Sounds familiar ? The stories sometimes get dangerously similar and aligned to the stories of getting proper and good domestic maids, who also are getting scarce day by day and show the same kind of attitude problems, partly due to pure poverty in this case though. In my training on Interview techniques, I teach them all kind of strategy and tactics about how to put their best foot forward, project the best image and fit possible and push any salary negotiation till the end so that they can play on a solid ground at that point and extract the maximum juice. I have seen this strategy getting immensely successful most of the time. At a pure mind-game that is an interview, finding that balance is important as otherwise you are ought to sell yourself cheap or ask for too much and be unable to prove your value. But the issue at hand is much bigger and bleaker than the money part alone. It is a problem emanating from self-knowledge and looking everything in a price angle rather than the value. In a class in IISWBM, in a different context, the discussion veered toward this. They were complaining that even bad companies are being brought in who are offering laughably low salaries. I expressed surprise that why they are coming to IISWBM, not going rather to all the other Mgt Institutes where many students would love to get a job of 8000/-. One too smart guy from behind taunted "Dollars Sir?". I kept my cool and asked if he did think $8000 is something fantastic. I said to my little knowledge about US which I have visited a few times, it's not much and too many people get it. The question is that "if you deserve it?"

I am pretty habituated to see the youngsters of today, mainly MBA students but other species are included. I have a good sense of their potential, have every sympathy for the confused state that they usually belong to and have even sacrificed a lot on my personal front in the hope of adding a lot of value to their lives. I do not claim to compare myself, but the concept that Chandragupta would never become an Emperor if not trained by Chanakya. Even the best steel cannot be a samurai sword unless you have a master craftsman at work.

I generally find that the most significant trouble most of them have is in the attitudinal area. They simply do not have the mindset to work, they always look for a “job”, that will pay them very well but will not give much work, and not outside the plush air-conditioned office, of course. The vision to look inwards, the question of “deserving” that my friend raised, is simply missing. They are very good at having fun, being at the facebook, and master at passing the exam with the “Matrix” notes with the question of what they have learned totally missing from the happy picture. They have “bought” the degree, paid so much fees to the Institute (whose quality is something I won’t even comment about) and now it is the liability of the Institute to give them a cushy plush job, with as little work, of course. Except a few, the more I see them, the more hopeless I become.

Even if I have the power to change this, I do hate the idea to force someone to come to me for a lesson, you just can’t teach anyone to live better if he does not want it with a passion. Nobody can change anyone, it’s on them and you can only help, guide, mentor, motivate and inspire, not spoon-feed a reluctant spoilt brat who thinks his father has a lot of money so he can afford to be a monkey and so, why care? Their parents are no less a willing party to this thinking approach and attitude. One of my old students completed his MBA, worked for a bank for a few months, hated the back-breaking work that could also have given him a solid grinding as well, and left the job. He at least got bored after taking rest for half a year and had enough intelligence or contacts to land a nice job. Being the only child of well-to-do parents, his parents did tell him to relax and not get killed. Thanks Papa!!

Remembering a lost friend – A case for safety belt and helmet

My heart is profusely bleeding for the last few weeks after the death of a close relative – A boy of 29, a nice sober chap working for my ex-company, Siemens Information Systems Ltd. A guy never used to speeding or rash driving or driving without a helmet, he went to his garage to receive his bike after a service, just a few stops away and just did not care to take his customary helmet. While coming back, while trying to give some space to a overtaking truck, he hit the side culvert wall, thrown off the bike and hit the wall head on before falling off the culvert. The massive head injury led to instant coma and after a few minutes, was “brought dead” in the nearest nursing home, only a kilometer away.

This led to the opening up of another deep wound of mine. Suryanu, a friend who was like a brother, went to South Africa for TCS in 1997-8. Another extremely nice guy, he was a bit adamant on a few odd things, like he never liked to wear the seat belt. In kolkata, you can still get away but in SA ? While coming back from Sun City to Jo’berg, he (was an expert driver) missed an exit and tried to swerve the car. The car was overturned several times, the windshield went off and he was thrown off the car, hit the street on the back of his head. Within a few minutes a police chopper took him away to a hospital but there was nothing to do. For 12 years now, We (my wife was also very fond of him) have carried that deep wound within ourselves, all because he did not wear a seatbelt ? There were 3 more guys on that car (including another friend of mine now in CTS) all wearing belts and nothing happened to them except the shock.

Another good friend, an employee of Airports Authority (they have unlimited medical facility, thank you), who is normally very calculative about any expense but nicely bought a high quality expensive helmet of Studds, met with an accident in his bike in which the helmet got smashed and he spent nearly 3 weeks in Apollo Gleneagles. Can you imagine what would have happened to his head if the helmet was like a mine worker’s hat that many people wear, to avoid and bypass the Police rules ?

Let’s talk about survival. Whom are we cheating when we try to bypass the rules and think everything will be okay ? The Police Commissioner will not be dead in an accident, but you will. While you care to lock up the irrelevant things that you can buy by thousands, lock your life.

Strategic resource view - Personal viewpoint

Many people have asked me in a titbit how somebody can handle a very bad situation. I have always answered “attack from another flank”. This is a favorite strategy for me all my life, even while driving in Kolkata, I deftly use the underused left flank of the bypass to overtake most of the cars.

But the strategy is deeper than it looks. Attacking from “another” flank is not easy, the first factor is the deeply ingrained beliefs and paradigms about oneself. If someone thinks he is only suitable for any job that someone will “give him” and then he will do it “somehow”, that he is not suitable for any bigger thing, then “attack” become a joke. The paradigm has to be changed first, which takes a lot of mental strength to begin with, and then takes some self-respect, self-worth and confidence, things that the average bengali parents fail to inculcate in their children – evident from the protectionist and patronizing attitude shown from the beginning. These children are also “taught” that the ultimate goal is to “get a job”, totally unlike the Marwari or Gujarati (and not all of them are rich, I must say) people who know from quite early ages that they will do their own business some day, even when many of them do well in the studies and become CAs or other professionals, these are stepping stones for them, a part of their strategy.

In my office and in many other places I have seen people working as office assistants and in other roles at a salary of 2/3 thousand rupees a month. I have watched some of them closely to find out that it is not the lack of intelligence, it is the lack of confidence, the mental strength to fight any piece of shit that is dished out to him. This is the reason why penniless Biharis and some oriyas come to Kolkata and open a paan shop somewhere and often earn many times of that amount. Initially there are some local Dada or police trouble which has to be handled by courage and some money, which is probably the only pre-requisite. These people will always ask “but where do I get the money?” as if money is the only constraint. Alas, they do not know how much those people selling water (& nimbu-water) in the esplanade area earn. In 1983, I and a close friend (has his own CA firm now) chatted with one for quite some time and later calculated that he earns (as per his estimates which we thought was conservative) a net of 3000 in season and about 1800 in off-season.

Bengali people are basically greedy and mostly look for easy money, something that will come from lottery or bribe or by middleman commission etc. and will not entail hard work. They love money but do not know how to give it the respect it deserves. So, any small businessman is “lower-class” in social terms but when he becomes rich, he becomes “established”, he is higher-class. I am obviously not talking about the minuscule upper class educated class who are well-to-do and learn to think big from the childhood itself.

Strategic management says that you have to consider the resource view, which is not necessarily money alone. I will take the competitive advantages like contacts, political connections, personal determination and proper planning regarding the location and type of the business etc. for resources too, even if it is a paan shop (some of them have strategic locations and they mint money). In the BD market, I am watching a guy for the last 6/8 years. He initially started selling chicken in a small pushcart. He was threatened and pushed around by the Bazaar authorities, on cue from the established chicken vendors of the market. He changed places often and looked for strategic places just outside the market boundary. Then the market became too competitive, he switched to this and that and settled for fruits and is doing fine since then. He never gave up and his wife is also involved in the shop. He has not got a shop till now, but he is established, I should say. His major competitors were finally tired of going after him and gave up a small market-share as out of their reach, which was enough for this guy.

Strategic resource view is fine, but the interpretation should consider the person-specific competitive advantages. Have courage, it can be your biggest resource.

The contrary view

It’s very trying to be different. Being a born rebel means a standing invitation to others to try to bulldoze you. But the trial by fire also makes one purer and stronger that gives one the supreme confidence with the license to give a damn to what other people say about him. Ironically, it also gives one the humility to understand that the principled positions and simplest but the best wisdoms are not the preserves of the people powerful enough to challenge his positions but inclusive of other people who are miles down below him. This provides the never-say-die attitude that comes from the knowledge that whatever you will face will be difficult and painful, not resistance alone but will include ridicule and checks. This is the attitude that talks of climbing the Everest not just for “it was there” but for “I was there”.

In the complicated Shatranz of living within a people network and the so-called society, my favorite strategy is of non-confrontation. I was a born rebel and have fought against all the people I have known in my whole life, and proportionally more with the more powerful ones. Without branding a T-shirt with a photo of Che in the front, this much I could do without any malice and personal enmity as I always took this as business. Beside my Pop, I have gone down in the history for fighting my Bosses the most in my career and still survived 15 years before I finally buried it with full state honors. I consider myself lucky beyond measures that I was still respected by all of them, if not exactly loved, and some of them kept excellent personal relations with me even while I was at the height of rebellion, probably because my behavior was always issue-based and I always tried to keep absolute and ridiculous standards of integrity, decorum and dignity of character.

When your thinking will be different from other people, it is as much as saying only you are right and all others are wrong. The conviction reflects only to a handful few who, ironically, do not matter in terms of survival strategy for non-existence of threats. This is unacceptable mainly for two types of people, one who have false and often empty prides about themselves and secondly the people who have higher authority over your actions. Strategy for the first type is mostly non-confrontation – ignoring their ridicule, sarcasms, insinuations and quietly waiting for your turn to cut them down with a single stroke of the sword – a masterstroke that they will never even have the time to watch in horror, they will be dead even before they know it. Strategy for the second type is absolute but dignified confrontations – with reasons. Always reason with people and keep an aura of honesty around you to starve them of any chance to challenge your positions on the logic of motives. One of the Bosses under whom I had worked for more than four years and even now has a very good relation with me was one I fought so much but always from a position where I had a very good reason, whatever be it, not only apparent but also concrete. But he was also the guy who never even glanced at the heads or the amounts when I put up with any reimbursement bill, after the initial year of our working, a thing he never did with all others. He knew, I am the type who forgets or misplaces most of the valid bills, or just does not care to put them, and the question of inflating bills does not arise at all.

One position that earns a lot of enemies but as well earns a tremendous respect from them is when you will be humble and friendly yet will absolutely refuse to accept any nonsense from anybody. You just cannot eat every shit life will dish out on a platter. A third type of the people will always come after you when they will think that you are weak. Some bums among them will always misread your aloofness and nonchalance as a sign of it but those people are easy to handle as these people can be cut down at ease, the others being far more dangerous as they will often stumble upon your actual weaknesses and use those even small aspects to make a guided missile hit at your much bigger and important pawn formations. I have never cared what people think about me but at any time I have heard them well and then secretly tried to find any actual holes in my position. If I ever found one, I immediately started on the steps to improve them, because even if you manage to get away the first or a few times, you will eventually be hit through those Achilles’ heels and that will take away the aura of invincibility that is the final objective of this strategy.

But, above all, the best strategy of all to fight the other people is to bear, and silently, till you can make an answer that will close the issue and their bloody mouths at one go. The answer may not be even in so many words, but they can be even better.

Beside the need for honesty, I repeat the importance of humility. I love to speak to all classes and types of people, even rusty farmers, notorious drug-peddlers, unassuming rickshaw-wallas and what not, sometimes to much consternation of my dear wife. But over the life, I have received the kind of simple but brilliant viewpoints of life that they were my almost invincible arms in many situations where I was trying to survive by crossing swords with people who could theoretically kill me in one slash but practically they could never do it. Remember that nobody could kill you unless you let them to. To quote Mike Corleone, "accidents do not happen to people who takes accidents as personal insults". Humility not only endears you to a small but beautiful section of the people who become the most important allies in your battles, they also give you the practical strategies that no book or famed institute can ever teach anybody. They are called philosophies, the ultimate nectar of life.

One last word. The price of living on one's own terms and viewpoints is tremendous. I have practiced all my life and got bruised and wounded for as long, before I got up again and be back for another fight. Being a true survivor and a relentless fighter, I have hanged on to the rear mudguard of the villains car whenever they were on the run after kidnapping my heroin, just the hindi films - never letting go - and I still rose inch by inch, without ever bowing my head to anything or anyone for any reward or any punishment. At the end of it all, I am happy and content. To be as proud and as happy, be ready to sacrifice as much or more.

Be very sympathetic to people. They live with so much of hopes, dreams, nightmares, pains and broken faiths that they need an empathetic listening. Also think how their words can be used to improve your formation on the chessboard, but outside that, really give a damn to what they say about you. Every business is, at the end of the day, personal, very personal.

A decidedly dangerous provocation

There is always a hook, line and sinker
sadly, for an analogous dumb thinker
who falls for it, then wakes up and sits
back up in retro, do a large bit of tinker
with the decision, then let it go, for the bait
is too small for the pure Gangajal drinker

Late cut

Real relationships may go dormant but they never go off. Someday somewhere they will eventually come back to haunt or enchant, depending on how you want to see it

Late Cut - A purely original passing thought

Life is the everlasting game of the Sun and the shadow. But the part I love best are the 100 shades in between