Survive from being a "Nowhere man" – the goal-less state

Have you ever stumbled upon your internal question of what is a real success ? Have you ever dithered over the fact as to why, some people are much more successful and happy and content over the others ? What it takes to be happy ? A high-flying job or a lot of money is not success as a whole, otherwise there wouldn’t have been so much anger and politics and discontent, stress, marital discord, disintegration of relationships, adultery and lack of loyalty, and so much of tension with the friends and relatives for the top executives and the rich people. It is the lack of balance in life, a lack of direction in life that creates these symptoms.

Probably the biggest trouble with the youngsters today is the lack of direction. With the materialistic trend, their needs are very high, their expectations are very high, but they are not sure what they really want or how they will get those or if at all. Eternally standing at the crossroads all the time is what makes them angry and confused, stubborn and blaming, bewildered and hopeless – even suicidal. IITs have the highest suicide rate among all institutions in the country. One of the reason is that for years they took IIT as the final destination, a state of have-all, and when they understand that it is only the beginning of another journey, they find it hard to take. Defining success is not a part of the things that the parents try to teach their children, leading to all the trouble and the internal dilemma and confrontations in their lives.

As our vision is often blurred, and the future uncertain, all the more we need to know ourselves – our hopes, dreams, wants, likes & dislikes – self-knowledge is the highest form of knowledge and is the most potent tool in one’s hands. And there-from comes up the goals and objectives of one – the destination of a human being. Goals give us a meaning and something to live for. It inspires us and help us move. Active people age quickly after they retire.

The pathetic fact is that parents are generally aware of goals, at least most educated parents have a vague idea of it but most do not recognize the power and the crucial nature of it. The result is a disaster more potent than the 9/11 blast because it tends to make the lives meaningless in a certain way. If you do not know what you want, whatever you achieve cannot make you really happy, because you are never sure that you wanted just that. Success needs goals first and goals last – there is no shortcut. Sounds strange – but life will always give you what you ask – but you must be serious in asking.

It is said that if you are going to “nowhere”, any road can take you there. Living without a goal is like boarding a train without knowing where it is going. This is fine for the bohemians without a care, temporarily, but is a sure recipe for disaster for all others. People without goals just tend to wander through life, in a perpetual search of what will make them happy and content. A survey concluded that about 4-9 effective years are wasted in one’s life in average, for a person without a proper goal, when he dithers and roams around options - directionless -rudderless – valueless. Another survey by Harvard found about 85% of the people never find a definite goal in life, of the rest, 70% get it after the age of 25 (when the options of running after that goal becomes very limited). The whole point of Goal-setting is to facilitate success. There is an inseparable link between goal setting and performance, in any area. A goal is like the grain of sand which exists at the center of every pearl, and about which the pearly material has gathered. It is the ‘big idea’ around which one’s Constructive Imagination builds, deposits and accumulates its wealth of material.

Parents spend lakhs of rupees on their schooling and coaching centers to ensure they get in somewhere – typical craze are Doctors, Engineers, MBAs – with thousands of low-grade Institutes springing up, it is awfully easy now – with the big companies giving up the idea of people and seeing them as mere resources who can clean the shits of US companies, getting a job is also easy. But then ? Then the question comes, now what ? What about their internal strength and value base ? About their life skills (soft skills training are common for interviews) and survival skills ? What about their relationship handling skill ? Their resilience or survival skills that can make them survive thro’ a tough time or handle a major failure or setback ?

Even in Management, the whole idea stands upon the concept of Objectives and goals – of a company or of individual divisions and the associated managers. Peter Drucker started the modern management principles by the idea of MBA, Management by objectives. But people, including MBAs learn the tool, not knowing even this basic perspective and that makes them incapable of having and applying the power of goals in their own lives. A survey among the MBAs found, 93% know it is good to have goals, but only 3% have written goals and only 1% review them regularly. I have myself often done a quick survey among the different batches in my classes at the Management Institutes, and found the result tallies. After 15 years in schools and colleges and of course - expensive coaching centers, they still are not aware of their true desires or how to make those wishes and ambitions concrete – with concrete SMART goals that can truly unlock the potential and that can spawn the 5 Ds, direction – dedication – determination – discipline – deadlines.

Goal-setting is not just a theory, it is a practical process that can be learnt, but then to be implemented by practice. There are steps and techniques of it, which one can learn to do it successfully. Goals must be taken in balance between the 6 spokes of life : Family – Financial / educational – Physical – Mental – Social – Spiritual that will ensure an even balance when that wheel will run. But the path cannot be taken until you know where do you want to go, and that is the most crucial thing for success. The most painful fact is that either you will have a goal, or you will have to ever run – to meet somebody else’s goal