The contrary view

It’s very trying to be different. Being a born rebel means a standing invitation to others to try to bulldoze you. But the trial by fire also makes one purer and stronger that gives one the supreme confidence with the license to give a damn to what other people say about him. Ironically, it also gives one the humility to understand that the principled positions and simplest but the best wisdoms are not the preserves of the people powerful enough to challenge his positions but inclusive of other people who are miles down below him. This provides the never-say-die attitude that comes from the knowledge that whatever you will face will be difficult and painful, not resistance alone but will include ridicule and checks. This is the attitude that talks of climbing the Everest not just for “it was there” but for “I was there”.

In the complicated Shatranz of living within a people network and the so-called society, my favorite strategy is of non-confrontation. I was a born rebel and have fought against all the people I have known in my whole life, and proportionally more with the more powerful ones. Without branding a T-shirt with a photo of Che in the front, this much I could do without any malice and personal enmity as I always took this as business. Beside my Pop, I have gone down in the history for fighting my Bosses the most in my career and still survived 15 years before I finally buried it with full state honors. I consider myself lucky beyond measures that I was still respected by all of them, if not exactly loved, and some of them kept excellent personal relations with me even while I was at the height of rebellion, probably because my behavior was always issue-based and I always tried to keep absolute and ridiculous standards of integrity, decorum and dignity of character.

When your thinking will be different from other people, it is as much as saying only you are right and all others are wrong. The conviction reflects only to a handful few who, ironically, do not matter in terms of survival strategy for non-existence of threats. This is unacceptable mainly for two types of people, one who have false and often empty prides about themselves and secondly the people who have higher authority over your actions. Strategy for the first type is mostly non-confrontation – ignoring their ridicule, sarcasms, insinuations and quietly waiting for your turn to cut them down with a single stroke of the sword – a masterstroke that they will never even have the time to watch in horror, they will be dead even before they know it. Strategy for the second type is absolute but dignified confrontations – with reasons. Always reason with people and keep an aura of honesty around you to starve them of any chance to challenge your positions on the logic of motives. One of the Bosses under whom I had worked for more than four years and even now has a very good relation with me was one I fought so much but always from a position where I had a very good reason, whatever be it, not only apparent but also concrete. But he was also the guy who never even glanced at the heads or the amounts when I put up with any reimbursement bill, after the initial year of our working, a thing he never did with all others. He knew, I am the type who forgets or misplaces most of the valid bills, or just does not care to put them, and the question of inflating bills does not arise at all.

One position that earns a lot of enemies but as well earns a tremendous respect from them is when you will be humble and friendly yet will absolutely refuse to accept any nonsense from anybody. You just cannot eat every shit life will dish out on a platter. A third type of the people will always come after you when they will think that you are weak. Some bums among them will always misread your aloofness and nonchalance as a sign of it but those people are easy to handle as these people can be cut down at ease, the others being far more dangerous as they will often stumble upon your actual weaknesses and use those even small aspects to make a guided missile hit at your much bigger and important pawn formations. I have never cared what people think about me but at any time I have heard them well and then secretly tried to find any actual holes in my position. If I ever found one, I immediately started on the steps to improve them, because even if you manage to get away the first or a few times, you will eventually be hit through those Achilles’ heels and that will take away the aura of invincibility that is the final objective of this strategy.

But, above all, the best strategy of all to fight the other people is to bear, and silently, till you can make an answer that will close the issue and their bloody mouths at one go. The answer may not be even in so many words, but they can be even better.

Beside the need for honesty, I repeat the importance of humility. I love to speak to all classes and types of people, even rusty farmers, notorious drug-peddlers, unassuming rickshaw-wallas and what not, sometimes to much consternation of my dear wife. But over the life, I have received the kind of simple but brilliant viewpoints of life that they were my almost invincible arms in many situations where I was trying to survive by crossing swords with people who could theoretically kill me in one slash but practically they could never do it. Remember that nobody could kill you unless you let them to. To quote Mike Corleone, "accidents do not happen to people who takes accidents as personal insults". Humility not only endears you to a small but beautiful section of the people who become the most important allies in your battles, they also give you the practical strategies that no book or famed institute can ever teach anybody. They are called philosophies, the ultimate nectar of life.

One last word. The price of living on one's own terms and viewpoints is tremendous. I have practiced all my life and got bruised and wounded for as long, before I got up again and be back for another fight. Being a true survivor and a relentless fighter, I have hanged on to the rear mudguard of the villains car whenever they were on the run after kidnapping my heroin, just the hindi films - never letting go - and I still rose inch by inch, without ever bowing my head to anything or anyone for any reward or any punishment. At the end of it all, I am happy and content. To be as proud and as happy, be ready to sacrifice as much or more.

Be very sympathetic to people. They live with so much of hopes, dreams, nightmares, pains and broken faiths that they need an empathetic listening. Also think how their words can be used to improve your formation on the chessboard, but outside that, really give a damn to what they say about you. Every business is, at the end of the day, personal, very personal.

The price of freedom

Life is an endless battle, it is a half-truth, but truth nevertheless. It is the curse of human that they are born with slavery. Life is really an endless battle, and most of the time it will be with yourself. You just can’t throw the towel, you can only lose when you will accept the defeat. Only one sound rings up in the air, “RUN, it’s your life”. Life is being on a tightrope. Never accept a defeat, there is nothing called a defeat, only at death, you submit to the almighty at the final bell, for the last time. You can never be dead, until you are. I respect death enough to never even talk about it or think about it but I always stay prepared for it to come at the gong. This is the ultimate secret of my fearlessness. I battle with everyone including myself and with everything, even and particularly with my natural tendencies, when I think I’m right. It is really unbelievable what a man can do. They can go on pushing their frontiers, when they really wish to do it. I’ve seen people fight and come back from the verge many times, come back with a bang after everybody wrote him off, just left there for dead. Strength of a real man comes from the indomitable will rather than the biceps. So I try to push myself to the limit, and beyond. I only accept that this is my life. Like Jesus, like all others around me, I have been carrying my cross all my life but have fought continuously not to let them hang me on that. Take heart, even those who were born with those lovely spoons, also fight, maybe in a different way, but they also have the same fate. Only I consider myself better armed and tuned, because there is nothing to lose. Part of the fight is to save that for my children, after a time, everyone lives for them. I fight every day, for myself and my principles, my life, my beloved ones and I fight for this world. The fight is not to lower the head in front of anything that does not truly deserve it. This is one of the hardest battle and the endless one. I have a rule that I simply do not want to do it for any fear or greed and then the war starts, to protect the rule itself. I do make strategic retreat sometimes, but that is only to come back to the battlefield at the crack of dawn with double the ferocity and arms. Being a child of the earth, I stay rooted to the ground and always get up with double the force when I fall. Sometimes you have to wait for your turn. When at war, at every battle with the dark forces, you should try to take the nature in your side. When sailing to the enemy area, your direction should be enforced by the strong wind. Willpower of the nature is the source of strength of the Jedi knights. When you will be a dog, the mother nature will endow you with that biting power and will give you the day to use it. Often, an overnight success is bought by 20 years of toil and blood and pain and trial by the Kafkaesque faceless executioners. I have gone through years of pain, uncertainty and ridicule of people with less than half of the caliber, when I was trying something new. Like the Mexican – I always saw the ten thousand rifles in place of those dumb Gringos, the vision pulled me thro’ countless nights that felt like they will never end. After years of silent bearing, when the results started pouring in, I killed them and only their smiles roamed in the air long after they were gone. One must believe in himself, one must be liberated, one must stay liberated. Freedom is the greatest treasure a man can have. The function of a man is to live, not to exist. A slave is a person who waits for someone else to set him free. A slave is somebody who does not fight for himself. A slave is someone without a respect of his life. So, fight. Fight to break the shackles of slavery – with every tooth and nail, with every breadth, with every bullet you've got. While running for you dreams and your life, fight. Jump every wall, break every barrier, climb every mountain, cross every ocean, fight every war, charge every gun, shoot every man who will dare. When it’s the Light Brigade, their’s not to make reply, not to reason why, just to do and die. Swords drawn, full gallop at the saddle, no hostages taken, no quarters given nor asked - the Crown Prince of the Mohicans must fight till the last man standing. With the red flag’s flutter -it is a fight to the finish. Then, when it will be the jaws of death, the mouth of hell, with one last cut and slash of your dearest samurai sword, ride well in the gentle wind to the glory of a free man.

Ways of Managing

(Unlike many others, I never treat my blog as a place to dump all bullshits I can find elsewhere, but a friend has sent a nice anecdote that really deserves to go in. Enjoy - Sudip)

•MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES - These managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they disappear round the corner.

•MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW - These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.

•MANAGING BY POST-IT'S - Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'-ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.

•MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY - These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If he is good, He knows what she must do.

•MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING - These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.

•MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING - These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.

•MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION - Information hiders are aware of the market value of information kept strictly secret. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of stimulants from category “Knowing nothing”!

•MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS - These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.

•MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS - In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.

•MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS - If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.

•MANAGING BY MEETINGS - These managers are always seen in the meeting rooms, planning about future, getting irrelevant bullshit lectures and ideas from trusted subordinate managers, and taking them seriously, till next meeting.

Expectation Management - a key to survival

We all have our expectations – from everything and from everyone. When they are not met, we have disappointments and when they are exceeded, we break into ecstacy. Going between these two extremes, we lose the control on our feelings. Have you ever thought of balancing your expectations against what is reality and what you actually deserve, so that you don’t hit the wall on either side ? Do you give a serious thought to what other people expect from you and how to you go about meeting those ?

When I was in College, one day some of us were chatting and the discussion veered to the expectation of one from his spouse. One girl excitedly talked about the nasty attitudes of men in general. I asked her to narrate her expectation or rather wishes about the qualities of her dream man. I made a list, a cameo, in my diary while she went on. It was like this (my comments in the bracket) :
• Tall dark handsome (bullshit, “fo guck” yourself in the mirror)
• Rich (like an industrialist or his son)
• Highly educated (like a scientist)
• Glamorous – optional (like Salman)
• Loves luxury (like corporate Bosses)
• Powerful (like the IASes)
• Kind and considerate (like Mother Teresa)
• Humorous (like Mehmoud or Bhanu)
Rest are all optional, like regularity in life (like a Professor), security (like a Govt. servant), time (like a Govt. clerk), will give me space (like a busy Doctor), will share all (like a henpecked housewife)

Finally I popped the golden question. Even if someone like this exists, what can he expect in her dream lady and do you deserve him ? He will also have fantastic expectations and will ask himself, when married to a geek like you, “Do I deserve her” ? So, why don’t you try to achieve, acquire the virtues that deserve these qualities from a spouse and will even command respect ? This kind of expectation often leads to an unbalanced view of himself/herself and leads to one-sided insecurity that is often the main source of sexual and emotional blackmail.

It is almost like the people (BA fail and salary 5000/-) asking for “forsha Prokrito sundori” (fair and really beautiful) girl. Expectations are often unrealistic and unfair at first, at the lack of any open and honest self-assessment, changing slowly as they grow more mature.

Expectations are powerful as they touch deep emotional chords and affect our personal dreams, agendas, values and most importantly our relationships i.e., they can control us and our feelings altogether. Usually the power of expectation is beneficial but often it can put somebody in such groovy realms of possibilities that can take away the happiness of survival. Our own unrealistic expectations are as much culprits as this is of others.

Expectation, unlike a dream or desire, often has a tendency to run away if not controlled properly. It also varies with Time, place and the Actors. Expectation varies from the same husband on after a year of marriage and after 10 years of marriage, as he has changed and the expectant has changed also. Even their relationship has changed.

Expectations are situation-dependent too. Expectation form the same husband can vary on the same day when he is reading the morning newspaper and when he has come back home after a binge of drinking with the chums.

Expectation also depends upon the state of the relationship. This is because it is also dependent on the level of fulfillment of the expectation of the person from whom the expectation is arising. A husband who is tired of non-fulfillment of his own expectations will react differently than when he had the hopes of fulfillment of them.

The level and magnitude of expectation itself varies, growing with each fulfillment and reducing with each non-fulfillment. It is a good practice in terms of survival to keep the level of expectation low initially and also not to let the expectation about you to be high in the beginning. Disappointment often comes just because of too high or unrealistic expectation. One of my ex-Bosses had been very disappointed one day when I failed to properly execute one job given to me. It was not important that the particular job was very difficult or that I was doing it the first time or that I had sincerely tried it and even probably deserved some credit for what I had done, as his expectation from me went on increasing for a long time and even was converted into a sort of reliance by the time. It was important that however good or bad I was, I failed to match the expectation.

To manage the expectation, one should try to keep some element of surprise about himself and not give away too much of information too early. If on the first day you start blabbering about your singing, the first day itself when she will hear you sing, she will most probably be disappointed as by that time she must have had built up a good level of expectation. While we should try to manage expectation mainly to cover ourselves against other’s disappointments, it is always a very valuable practice to under promise and over deliver that will lead to that WHOW or ecstacy.

It needs an open, considerate and sensitive mind to understand the expectations around him in the first place. Mostly, they remain unsaid and even covered deep down. To delve into somebody’s mind, to understand the opposite party’s need vis a vis his/her expectation, need a mind and even more, a soul. You will have to “walk a mile” or more in his/her shoes to understand the pain of that blister and what he/she thinks you should do.

Managing them is altogether a different ball-game. To manage expectation, the major steps should be to
• Capture expectation
• Monitor expectation
• Influence expectation
• Set expectation
The whole process is iterative and a journey, rather than being a destination.

To manage, one should connect to them and formally keep written dossiers of what he thinks are the expectations on him (the other party seldom talks about them, they are not dreams or desires, remember). But still communication is the key here and you try to be and stay as open and frank and honest as possible under any circumstances. This will probably help him to understand the direction all his well-wishers would want him to take and how he can handle them. For a completely dynamic and abstract substance like expectation, even this will probably help to manage up to 20% of it. best of luck

Myth-yam strategy – The shades of gray

Removed by Sudip as no more relevant

My dear students - experiment with the truth and my ethereal shame

To lend from the oft-repeated Kautilya, “even the devil has to be given his dues”, as otherwise all notions of fairness and credibility go away. So, when I gave away a bewildered face with a bemused surprise and disappointment at my ratings (6.4 & 5.7), I found out the ratings provided. While many have given even 9 or 10 with some objective and some superlative comments, I found out some students have given 1 or 2 in the parameters (well, I just think of the heavenly fun they will have when they will give a marks of 11 /100 or 15/100 if they ever will become Professors, IF) with comments that borders on allegations of unfairness and favoritism, e.g. I used to give lifts to some students in my car to their homes or that I used to smoke cigarettes with some students or drank tea and chatted with them (good thinking, all these, only as a practicing manager for many years I always thought it’s Group-D territory). Logically, the charges of taking bribes or sexual harassments could be the next?

I take a bow to their judgments if they were taken regarding my teaching aspects, and my efforts in the extra mile I always thought I should walk for them. But something tells me that may not be true. Firstly such a completely polarized rating range talk of severe bias and a ridiculously low rating on all parameters show a complete lack of objectivity. When I finished my classes after 7 on one of the days in the week, some students often approached me for a lift (the only people I myself had offered lift at any time were my fellow Professors and a SSD), should have I said No ? And friendly ? That I always was and to everybody (including the rickshaw-pullers, as I had mentioned in the class in a theoretical context) as a rule, till I am reproached in some manner (when I turn brutally aloof and selectively blind).

I took out their marks to double check and found out
1) The top 20% is a random mix of people from all, as we say, caste – creed – race – religion – sex – province – language etc.
2) None of the guys I gave a lift in my car has made to the top 10%
3) The most incorrigibly talkative of them all had still made grade A
4) One of the toppers had a serious fight with me in the class. Another guy had shouted on me regarding the rules and my choice of judges in a Presentation type case study had made grade A
5) One of the guys who got 90+ has never even spoken to me or greeted me or even recognized me outside the class
6) I, as I had decided earlier, have given 10% extra marks to everybody than I thought was due and had to resist, defy and bypass the general marking guideline to do so
7) Attendance, or rather the real snapshot of it, played a factor or a parameter. This is not the old India that the NRSs (Non-resident students) should be the super-class citizens

Unfair ? Vindictive ? Playing favorites ? I bow to the judgment. The tell-tale signs of a tall tale is that there is always more to the tale that you can tell yourself . People can get away with anything when they are paying, but what will happen when they will be paid ? Somebody showing this kind of mindset in a corporate setup will not last a week and the men will be separated from the boys there. However, I have seen the office-assistants and the cleaning people discussing a lot of issues like this in the pantry and other sacred places. We know it all along and never have any special expectation over the Group-D thought processes.

Some people never understand the real issues and why do someone get less marks. I have seen people who may be good but has always tried to remain a part of the paint on the back wall in the class, speaking 0-3 sentences in the 34 classes I took. It is not enough to be good, it must be demonstrated also. I, who is still a student, have felt numerous times in my life that I should have got a bit more marks, but at least I was still not stupid enough to presume that the examiner had something personal against me. I always knew after my schooldays that I am lacking somewhere, in the knowledge or the expression or the technique of delivery – to get any marks lower than the topper. Some students try to oil them, but any good Professor worth his shirt will consciously avoid any bias towards them. Some students always tried to hog the limelight even at the time of the case studies, but at least that shows their intent participation. If somebody remains merely a physical presence, I have no way of knowing he is with the case or is really at Nolbon at that time. The wisdom or rather the religion of Zombiehood do not make any special mark for the impression. Professors are ought to be impressed with some characteristic, and a management student must know it in the strategy class.

In the west and the good institutes like IIM-C, I have seen Professors are very friendly and approachable while elsewhere I have often seen them more aloof and distant. In fact, when I have seen my colleagues and friends (who are Professors in different colleges and Institutes) giving their marks, I have secretly thought them as insensitive. Now I know on which side of the fence they are.

Ultimately, at the end of the day, I know that it‘s my failure. I hang my proud head in ethereal shame that months of my passionate lectures on strategy could not do even the simple job of changing a mindset or the thinking pattern. What sins did I commit to not deserve this?

Win or lose ? – My personal Game theory of relationships

How do we decide if it is a win or loss ? This is another dumb characteristic we show all the time. In most of the affairs we always try to measure the outcome in terms of the game theory. This is probably the single-most important reason for so many failed or miserable marriages around us (I consider myself so lucky to have and to get so much love to and from my wife for the last 14 years, not considering the 4+ years of affair we had before that). It is a strategic view that the other party also has a big stake and unless forced, they also do not want to rock the applecart. Everyone wants to be happy, in their own way, and therefore has at least an equal stake as you or more. If you can’t control your ego, you deserve counseling, not a trophy.

The questions are pertinent. Do we really lose or win when one lets the other win ? Do we really win when we go for the kill and then realize there is no cup to loot, that has been destroyed in the fire of the war ? Do we really lose when every strike I make on her, my soul writhes in pain, turning and twitching in the grave ? Do we lose when you let her win, masquerading your real intent to lose, putting up a brave fight that was designed to lose - with the glory and that fantastic smile at the end of it ? Remember that you do not have to really lose every-time as your partner, if equally drenched in proper attitude and strategy in life, will try to do the same and often you can humbly accept the win without even losing the medal ribbon. In theoretical calculations, you can expect to be served with it half of the time. In empirical formula, if you are a guy, expect to have it once in 5 times.

It is strange that how most of the parents could see life from a close quarters as to try to teach their children the value of fair competition rather than trying to win (you must become the “first” – is what they tell while trying pouring the curse of their own failures in the small shoulders). They don’t teach how to be a good loser, how to be majestic in losing, most importantly, the distinction of the business and the personal (I will dwell on this topic another day), which shows the different facades of life and how to handle them. Success does not mean you have to win everywhere. The biggest strategy in relationships, which is probably the most important possession in life, is to be very empathetic to other people, their wants, likes, dreams, happiness, disappointments, despairs, frustrations – every feelings. You must understand that everyone is carrying his own cross and they need your encouragement and help, if possible, not your sarcasm and cynicism. Things, more often than not, does not go right with them and they simply cannot be at their best self all the time. Somebody who can lay her life for you, can be rude to you at times, when the time is not right. It is a nice habit never to judge other people. You must weigh their actions, surely, but putting yourself at his shoes. Ask yourself how would you have reacted if you were under the kind of pressure she is in ? In relationships, you should have a nonchalant aloofness to the smalls and slights. Carry on with all these things with an outsider approach. Do not remember the day your mother died “ or was it yesterday ?”. Fight only on important issues, that too giving out a long long rope. Ask yourself whom are you fighting with ? Use the wooden practice swords, this is not a gladiator fight. And never, I repeat, never ever bring the old issues. It brings a bitterness that is difficult to heal. Choose your words. They can create or open up wounds that no doctor can heal. In any fight, in any relationship, never cross a line that is forbidden – that can hit the relationship itself rather than the issue at hand.

This was my standard strategy for a long time. In relationships, I love to lose and invariably feel every-time like having the big shining medal on my own craned neck. The strategy comes in the way you lose. You must not show that you wanted to lose in any case. You must put up a brave fight, but always fire with the empty rounds, always using the shining tin sword, the blunt side of it and give the match away. The charade gives away the love and care with which you deal with your beloved people. You don’t have to molest a nice girl who has spent hours in trying to make herself even more beautiful, but give her an appreciating glance at the least. It will be a lethal blow of insult if you didn’t even try.

Lastly, this is not an universal truth. After you cross the sacred line of 95%, there is a different me waiting – the King lording over his undisputed areas with brutal firepower and ruthless personal force. There is no lion queen, no innocent cubs, no loyal ministers, no obedient subjects who are immune from the inflexible rule of the heavy sword in this small but absolutely private territory. The limit applies to anybody and everybody. After you draw the line with enough clarity and ruthless passion, take my word that you won’t have to even unsheathe your sword very often. They will know. In response to a question from an important relative (just became one, by way of a marriage in the family) of ours about how I am, my wife replied (translated) “like Shiva. very cool & serene, jolly and rarely gets angry – but when he is, doesn’t even care for Yama”. When she reported this later, I knew that even a strong-willed lady like her, will not cross the line when she sees one.

Other people’s reaction is mirroring yours ?

Most of the people are like mirrors in dealing with others. The 80-20 rule also applies here. Only 10% people are really and unconditionally very good and 10% people very bad in the same way. These people generally do not waver or veer towards the other side of the fence by external stimulants. But the rest 80% are like mirrors and are only frustrated, doubtful or bitter when they deal badly with people, not because they are of the “type”. Everybody has to bear his own cross and in the process, mostly the people with lesser mental strength or faculty, even forget to smile at the complete strangers on the street. The insecurity associated with our lives is the key then as I have seen most people in UK, considered a reserved race in these things, doing it in the streets? Partly maybe, but the rest is upbringing and mental mould. The most important thing is that you behave nicely with people and they will do that, in 80% of the cases. You be very good to them and the same set will just be that to you. People generally expect very less from other people, as they are normally tuned in our society, and when they get very good and genuinely nice behavior, particularly the people who do not get much respect from other people, will come out that extra mile to be even more nice to you. This is my lifetime experience.

The fast and the dead

The fact that the biggest billionaire blowup list post-meltdown consists of mostly Indians
http://in.news.yahoo.com/48/20090101/1238/tbs-anil-ambani-lost-30-bn-in-2008-forbe_1.html
should not surprise anyone as India provided the maximum new billionaires in the last few years. This does not necessarily mean that the country's economy was doing any superman act, but it certainly means that the top schemers of the country were skimming the tops off the gullible like us. The way they were creating the hype about the stock market and the kind of premiums they were being able to command on the shell or phantom or just baby companies with no assets or tracks (and probably no business case even) like Reliance Natural resources and Reliance power were scams in themselves in their own class. Having worked in the Merchant Banking sector in the past, particularly in the Issue Management area and after actively being in the markets for nearly 2 decades, it simply does surprise me that SEBI or CLB or the Govt. (most of the major parties and Ministers are in their payroll anyway) did not try to stop this menace and actually were claiming credit. The Indian Band is playing - rise up, gentlemen.

A decidedly dangerous provocation

There is always a hook, line and sinker
sadly, for an analogous dumb thinker
who falls for it, then wakes up and sits
back up in retro, do a large bit of tinker
with the decision, then let it go, for the bait
is too small for the pure Gangajal drinker

Shong-sar Meal planning - A healing strategy

My dear wife, though the undisputed owner of the shong-sar, always asks me what should be on the menu on the next day. This, historically, is a question that has embarrassed me and irritated me to no end because I am the type who simply wants to look the other way on these petty matters (!!??) and also the "keeping quiet" strategy is a ridiculous failure under the condition. It is also the knowledge that whatever I will say will be later turned down for some reasons and then she will have to give the orders her own way, that gives me the tweaks and twitches. In the one and half decades I have seen that anything, well almost, is not welcome to her for more than 2 days at a stretch and she fast becomes tired of that. Now, wherefrom should I import so much of variety (thank God, not spices) in life ? Then one fine late night, I sat on creating a table of the possible dishes and items which I now use as a ready reckoner and whenever asked the golden query, I start reading from that like that "Sardar poro" in the Tulsidasi tune. That has provided such consternation in the related minds (well, an instant maggi mix to irritate is lost ?) that lately nobody seem to be asking when I am ready to give the answer !! Oh God, there’s no justice !@#$%^&

Late cut

Real relationships may go dormant but they never go off. Someday somewhere they will eventually come back to haunt or enchant, depending on how you want to see it

Champu’s marriage and the question of class

Today and yesterday (which was the reception in a top hotel, from the bride’s side), I went to attend Champu’s marriage. I saw him first, a boy of hardly 8/9 in 1989 and a smart boy of his age, only brother of one of my best friends Ananya (Ani), my classmate in engineering, a friend I revered thro’ the years for his maturity, poise and class. A great grandson of Surendranath Dasgupta, a close friend of Tagore and Principal of Sanskrit College, then the most respected chair of all academics, a grandson of Maitrayee Devi, one of the most respected writers in Bengali, an academy award winner, close friend of Indira Gandhi, celebrated disciple of Tagore and the director of a famous orphan home.

Ani did his engineering ( in fact his father didn’t wait for his joint entrance exam and got him admitted in Bangalore univ. before the result was out), gave CAT to get a chance in Times school of Marketing, got absorbed in Times Guarantee Finance, worked for 1.5 years, came back to Cal, gave GMAT and got into Cranfield for another MBA for 200 years, married school-time sweetheart Madhulika (a heavenly beauty of whose existence I was privy to and always used to tease him about), got placed in KPMG (Bahrin), worked for 4/5 years before changing to Andersen in London (he used to give more rent than I used to get my monthly stipend when I was in England), bought a house in Golder’s green (a stone’s throw from Hampstead heath) – a posh area in proper London, left job for an 1-year MIF in London Business School, topped in an all-Euro Business School competition in Strategy, joined the famed (& totally focused in strategic consulting) Marakon Consulting and worked for many years before becoming a Director and leaving to become a hot-shot in Stanchart Singapore. In Marakon, he used to see only one account for years, which is ABN Amro (2nd largest Euro-bank), and used to spend every Tuesday with the Chairman himself. BTW, he was the guy who told me about MBA and it’s uses after he got in Cranfield. My naivette seems touching but this is true. I tried it in the next year.

His brother Champu, an even smarter guy and who had the good fortune of his brother’s example, Studied Economics from St. Xavier’s and got an offer from all 5 IIMs. He chose IIM-A, got summer trained in Goldman Sachs which absorbed him for their London office. Worked for a few years and joined RBS. The important thing is that he always knew, from his childhood perhaps, that he is going to becomer an “MBA”.
Today he married Beatrice, a pretty sweet French girl he knew from his IIM-A days when She came on a student exchange program and has since been on London on design and also is in RBS.

I gave so much of introduction to say a very simple thing. It needs a tremendous focus and hard work to succeed. I love Ani and always felt proud rather than jealous when he went on winning one summit after another. I always felt him on his days when he worked on a 16-hour day for months and years on. Madhulika had to sacrifice a lot and had to bring up their two daughters almost single-handedly till they had an opinion of their own that forced Ani to change from Consulting (they said they want their dad’s time more than they need any more money). But the foundation of his success, I believe, is his parents. His mother is an epitome of poise and real class, if you can feel what I mean, which is Anything that is queenly, but his father, a corporate honcho, radiates a kind of quiet poise and vision that is quite rare among all the respective fathers of my friends. This I believe had prepared them for the maturity and the focus on their destiny in the corporate world. This is where they were quite different from myself (a refugee whose family focused more on survival than on the offensive) or my other friends who are more of the general middle-class upbringing. Here, the question is not of the brilliance or intelligence or anything else. It’s a question of LASER, which emits tremendous energy or rather force, upon a small area where it becomes a cutting edge. Ani never believed in hard and consistent work in his BE days, he was after the fun, but I have seen him going before the exams and I never had any doubt regarding his brilliance and the strength (that lets somebody rise on the occasion). This toughness is partly hereditary, but implemented thro’ personal brilliance.

He always joked. “ when the going gets tough, the tough gets going”. Hat’s off. Gentlemen.

Boxer Day thought

No connection between the two, but the name Boxer’s day invariably remind me of Boxing which invariably leads to the down memory lane of two stories that haunt me all the time, in fact, on many a cold dark and despairing nights, I have thought of “The Mexican” and found a new meaning of life which gave me the fuel to fight for another day when everything seemed lost and the war was almost over. I remember the days when I also used to see the “ten thousand rifles” in the faces of the onlookers and the whole world and this hallucination kept me going, trying to take the tired exhausted bloody myself to the ring again, to survive another bout of ruthless beatings. Did I have the same aloof face with only “the eyes” that burned” ?

The other one was “The four beef steaks”, also by Jack London, in fact this story was the first that I knew of him, beautifully narrated by Mr. Deuri, our suave, neat and classy class-teacher in Standard 10. The darned good storyteller had mesmerized us with the story of the master. The story talks about a champion boxer on the verge of his last bout (and end of the career if he loses) and desperately looking to win the match that can earn him some money – he needs to feed his family. To win he needed the four beef steaks as he always did – but this time his sunny days are over and so nobody will even lend him any more money. He fought bravely but at the time of the knockout punch, he lost his force as he remembered he did not have the required steaks. He lost, broke down in a sob and then, after so many years, suddenly realized why the champion he snatched the crown from also broke down in the same way. This story does not inspire me as the other one, but serves an even more important purpose. It pins me firmly to the ground – makes me even more humble when, sometimes, I shine a lot and wear that maroon and gold cloak

An apologetic me - why the blog

Life , I am watching in horror for so long, always reaches a turn when I feel an urge to be straight and invariably, the two roads diverge - in the yellow woods (there is always one when you are not looking). Seems I will never get some peace. So there long I stand (and figure out which one my mom-in-law would have banned), then I look down on the other for as long as as I have on my hand, then take the other - just as fair (that was an original strategy - maaaaaaaaaaan).

Taking a long hard look, at the twilight of the uneasy dreams, I now feel an urge to look back at the life itself. How do we decide ? What makes us so powerfully dumb (I mean, being deaf should have been enough !!?#$%) ?

So, here I am, on a long hard journey of self-retrospection. But in a blog - because I have felt this journey will as well reflect the arduous journey of many a fellow human being - including my friends, romans and country bumpkins (not including my collegues and the students and my wife separately). let's see where we reach. But at least we will enjoy the journey - it sure will be a hell of a ride - so grab your seatbelts - and No Smoking (he he - except myself)

Late Cut - A purely original passing thought

Life is the everlasting game of the Sun and the shadow. But the part I love best are the 100 shades in between